This post is about ways to cope when you have dealt with a life-threatening situation and were left feeling helpless, anxious or upset about it.
My Own Life-Threatening Situation
Recently, my kids, dogs and I were on a walk near our home on a private farm road. We walked this route often; the kids loved finding clam shells there and pretty rocks. I always felt fairly safe on those walks: peaceful and serene.
My son and I got to the end of the road where a river levee roadway connects to the private farm road. Our dogs were near us. Suddenly, a vehicle came flying from behind us on a different road. He hit the river levee and saw our dogs. He turned his car in the direction of the dogs and floored it.
Luckily, our dogs are very big, and somehow one of the dogs was able to jump on the hood of his car and over it. After that, he chose to swerve his car towards us (my son & I). My daughter was a bit back behind me on the road that he then flew down going extremely fast and my first thought was that he was going to either hurt her or abduct her.
He flew down the roadway too fast for a dirt farm road that often has washouts and big holes. I thought he was gone, and we were running back home, sort of franticly. My husband was trying to find him by now, my husband had been at our house with our sleeping 1 year old, I am so thankful our baby was not with us.
My husband had headed into our town to try to find the car after it went through the property past our home towards town. However, the river levee met up with the main road on that side too. To better describe it, our house is in the middle of a large semi-circle of roads. A farm road that is private, and the circle is the public levee dirt road.
I looked over to the river levee... and he had returned. I immediately knew that he was coming back to try to hurt either us or the dogs. He had his lights off and was driving really slow. He saw us running in the pecan trees that are on the farm and pointed the car towards us and turned the lights on. I felt so thankful for the trees. He followed the road that he had turned on (a middle road running directly through two pecan tree orchards) which led him back away from us and we were able to sprint to our home where I contacted the police.
After the incident, I could hardly even remember what happened. It happened so fast and I was left feeling helpless and defenseless with my two kids and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
In the aftermath, I found out we live near this person and I will see this person occasionally. I feel fear, but I also know that I am safe. If something was meant to happen, it would have.
SO what am I left with? I am left with fear, anxiety and what ifs. I'm left with the feeling of being afraid to walk outside around my own home. I now know where this individual lives which is very close to my home. I'm left with the knowledge that someone I believe is very capable of killing lives so close to us. I'm left with a little bit of anger.
AND I'm also left with thankfulness. Thankful that no one was injured. Thankful our dogs are still here with us. Thankful for another day to live and breathe and soak up the moments with my family.
Ways to Cope
I fully understand that my situation was not nearly as bad as what so many people have dealt with. However, it did cause unease, unrest and anxiety and I needed a way to help myself cope with what did happen. It definitely triggered my fight or flight response. Also, because this person lives near me, I needed some ways to calm myself down from fearing the worst. Here's some ways to cope that are helping me to move forward.
1. Meditation
Listening to a calming meditation helped me tremendously. The first night after my own life-threatening experience I listened to several calming meditations. It helped me to feel my feelings in that moment, to feel the terror and shock and to cry it out and release the emotional energy associated with that moment.
You can try several types of meditations on YouTube, I'll link one of my favorite ones here. Finding the right person that fits with you is the key. You have to like their voice and the style of meditation that they provide. What works for one person, might not work for someone else.
You can also just play calming music and lay in your own meditation focusing on certain things that you want to improve on or be better at. Look for thought patterns.
https://youtu.be/c1_cExwMCuU?si=lYR-OTlNJyvkgsH0
2. Yoga
Roll out your yoga mat and stretch it out. The styles of yoga I practiced in the days following my life-threatening situation were yin and restorative. Both of these yoga types are calming, deep and most of them are seated slow flows.
Yoga helps your connection to your spirit. By choosing to practice yoga at times when you feel drained or lost, you are reconnecting with yourself, and you will feel better physically and emotionally once you have completed a session. You might be able to release some emotions as you stretch, so you aren't holding onto the negative energy of your experience.
Doing yoga often has been life-changing for me - in so many ways.
3. Breathwork
I don't know about you, but I have had a few panic attacks. A panic attack is a very real and scary feeling. This is the point when people often "hyperventilate". Some people feel like they are having a heart attack or dying when they are in a panic attack.
What I have learned after having several of these, is to slow down my breathing first. Right when I start to spiral or get the feeling in my body that I am going into a panic mode, I start to take bigger and deeper breaths. You can slow down the pace a bit. Focus on saying "I am safe here", "everything is okay, I am safe right now" and any other phrase that comforts you.
Ultimately, you are the one person that can help yourself out of a panic attack. A calming or very safe person might also be able to help calm you down and help you regulate your nervous system.
4. Working Out
Working out will release "good for you" endorphins and help get you moving. You can use yoga as a workout, or also pick up some weights and get a little more intense. Whatever style of workout you choose, it will help you to keep your mind busy while also improving your health. While I personally love yoga and try to get a session in every day, I also like lifting weights and taking walks for alternate options.
Some might benefit from boxing, walking, running, lifting weights or any other workout of choice. You can invite some friends to a park to throw a frisbee or go play tennis. Any activity like this will be better for you than sitting at home living in fear over what happened to you. Try to choose an activity that won't hold any triggers for you, for example, since my life-threatening incident occurred while I was walking, I will be avoiding walking in that area for a long while.
5. Journaling
Journaling can be a tremendous help in clearing your mind. It can have the same effect as talking about it with a safe person. You can also go back and reflect on your thoughts if you write them down. Sometimes just letting it out on paper is enough of a release and it won't linger in the back of your head all day.
You can journal what you are feeling, thinking and reflecting on. This will keep a record of your thoughts that will help you to go back and remember how you were feeling, and track how your mindset has shifted over time. You can journal about what happened and just letting it out on paper can provide a release of emotion associated with an event.
6. Sound Bath's or High Frequency Music
I have found a lot of healing and peace from sound baths. They lull you to sleep and can help you release negative or bad emotions that are stored within you. High frequency music has the same effect. If you are struggling with insomnia or difficulty staying asleep, give these a try!
Here's one of my favorite sound bath videos:
Sounds baths can be performed using quartz crystal bowls, Tibetan singing bowls or metal bells or gongs. They can help with stress, fatigue and depression symptoms. They can improve your mood and release tension in your body. Sound baths are said to trigger "sound healing".
If sounds baths are not for you, you can look into high frequency music to find healing or peace. I noticed a significant difference in my kids sleep when I started playing "bedtime" music at bedtime. Read more about music for healing and other health benefits here.
These are the methods that work for me to clear my head, connect with myself and to release negative energy associated with a life-threatening event. You might have to do some searching for your own ways to release that negative energy or try several before you find what works for you.
References:
Sound Bath: What It Is, How It Helps, and More (healthline.com)
